London Pride 2009: An action plan

So it didn’t rain and wasn’t as big as disaster as everyone said Pride 2008 would be. We took the cameras down to the parade to get some shots. The main highlights being the huge rainbow flag (which thankfully had been repaired to its former glory after last year’s downpour), the troop of Amy Winehouses, trans-superstar Jeannie Dee, the marching Armed Forces and a straight shopper saying to his mate “I’m fucked-off with all these fudge-packers getting in the road”. Unfortunately what seemed to be lacking this year was a bevvy of buffed up muscle T.O.T.O totty – maybe they were all in Madrid or just couldn’t be arsed – eitherway their topless torsos and bubble butts were sorely missed.

Mayor Boris led the parade, but of course suffered a few jeers along the way – a stereotypical pink cowboy hat was given to him for photo-shoots. Furthermore, he was led in an uncomfortable arm-in-arm way by UK lezbo rapper Mz Fontaine, making him appear as though he was on day-release from the hospital. Maybe he was. Anyway – check out the video instead: (Its backwards this time)

Overall it was OK – but it could have been better. The volunteers who organised the day put their heart into it and it showed. But this is one of the most exciting cities in the world, so why does our Gay Pride always fail to inspire most gayers who actually live in London? Of course it’s a political statement – and it’s important for that to remain to a certain extent – but the day itself lacks sex-appeal – and we don’t mean just in a tit’s and arse way. Anyway – here’s our action plan about how to save gay pride:

• The date – liaise with other gay prides in Europe so that dates don’t clash. So many London gays see Madrid pride as the party of the season and you’ll never compete with that right now. Move it back a week or two maybe so that half your people aren’t getting an easyJet to Spain
• Timing - put the parade on later in the day – possibly early evening – so that the parade IS the highlight – not some dated pop-stars on the main stage in Trafalgar Square
• Advertising – make sure the straight’s know about what is taking place in London that day. It was chaos at Oxford Circus when shoppers and families hadn’t got a clue what was going on. How can this be? Also make sure that the gay press know what is actually taking place at least a month in advance, then they’ll be able to promote it better
• No Dr Who – true fans will find a way of recording it. Showing a TV show destroys the atmosphere of the Square
• Ask people what they want – remember this is the 21st century. Technology makes it easy to consult people at virtually no cost and they’ll respect you for asking them

Anyway – what do you think? Let us know. Also if you’ve got any good pictures or videos, send them in.