THE SWARMITE’S HOMOVISION REHAB: GAY SHAME

As a comedown to the jam packed LONDON GAY PRIDE – The HOMOVISION REHAB with THE SWARMITE needs to discuss the anal area I’m afraid – as GAY SHAME is still lurking up the crack. Not my words, as Alan Carr would say, but words of wisdom nonetheless.

Check the history boys. Sodomy became an English civil crime in 1533 and then became a criminal offence in in 1592, although it had been a capital crime under ecclesiastical law long before this. Cases could be tried through the Assize Courts or the Quarter Sessions and, if convicted, the accused was hanged. In order to prove sodomy, however, several elements had to be demonstrated and both penetration and ejaculation had to occur – one in itself was insufficient and there needed to be two witnesses who could attest to both factors being present.

Legal jargon meant that if one man grassed on the other, both would be hung, (not what you think) so 16th Century gayers played the game of silence. However, courts usually passed a pillory sentence if intent had occurred, bummers were placed in stocks on public view (in London: on the Strand outside The Royal Courts of Justice) where the throwing of rotten fish, mouldy fruit, doggy doo and stale piss from piss pots were thrown our way. This became standard public humiliation for arse bandits way before we were called poofters and turd burglars in the modern age. Blacks were treated as slaves and we were treated as shit, black history reclaimed the past with pride and we need to go back way before Stonewall to quell the shame.

The genetic shame of these events remains tightly inside every English gay arse in the new millennium. So giving yourself the GIFT OF HISTORY before Stonewall, that connects to THIS country can assist you in recognizing that you are a small knot in a trail of collective energy, but joined together the rope is strong enough to hang ourselves as critical mass. Oscar Wilde got sold out because of shit on the sheets, evidence of sodomy provided by his housekeeper, soldiers during the wars were accused of “taking it up the Marmite” if emotional boundaries were crossed and fondness occurred. The rope of critical mass we can hang ourselves with is internalized homophobia. Twenty years ago in America ACT-UP spearheaded homophobia by reclaiming the word QUEER. In the UK the queer movement started before LOVE MUSCLE hit the Fridge and ended up dissolving itself with the new New Labour promises for equality. GAY PRIDE was everywhere.

Some years on in 2009 the gayers history book continues. “How strange?”, future generations may mutter – “What odd use of words for a released freed community? Str8 acting, drug and disease free ( D&D free ) under 30 only, no camps, chubs or cubs, hot chem sesh only with fit masc…” – need I go on? Who needs the perceived attack of chavs on the street when we dress like them to feel more masculine, more at one with the universe. More blokey, more normal, more acceptable. Chav sex is a gayers fantasy and as farcical in reality as a man of 50 calling himself “a lad” dressed in a Man United strip or a woman going to work dressed in an Ann Summers Nurses outfit. Christ we need to grow up sometimes. In my experience the guys who hold the bravery award, the ones who are themselves and authentically masculine are the one who swish out of G.A.Y past dawn. Blame it on AIDS, for this is where the dress code malarkey pushed the pedal into overdrive. Queens then found leg warmers and big tits to avoid the size zero look that AIDS presented. Big tits = no AIDS. Big Muscles means a giver (top & bottom are Gaydar inventions) the shame of AIDS meant you were a taker and therefore deserved it. To give a boner up the chocolate highway was butch but to take it like a man was fem. I suggest you watch a DVD of Brad Davis in Querelle to witness a Masterclass of reversal.

We are in no doubt that London is the queerest capital in the world with the broadest table of amusement but we might as well be back in 1533 when it comes to GAY SHAME. Consider your messy antics over the PRIDE WEEKEND if you indulged beyond celebration and the annual browsing & judgement of other gay folk outside your comfortable arena. Where did they all come from? Not all from The Isle of Man surely? (No, they are the rest of the world outside your usual haunts). Consider shameless behavior, for it can be functional AND dysfunctional. Being group shagged is gloriously shameless from one perspective but not from another viewpoint, especially if chem & BB abuses control the pace. Demanding “str8 acting only” on Gaydar is demeaning of self and other gayers. Words they gave us like “bummer, nancy boy, queer, iron etc” is not homophobic once reclaimed, while “str8 acting” is a phrase created by gays for other gays that means that acting straight is better than acting gay, however you argue this one out. We made the words our own. I usually find that “str8 acting” indicates emotional suppression, image control and devoid of humour.

This is modern internalized homophobia – have preferences by all means but we must all be careful of the way we separate fantasy from reality. Look what has happened in general society with the sexualization of children and the use of the word “gay” as a negative vibe. We are doing it to ourselves. If gays get any younger KU Bar will need a creche as our demand for fragrant youth continues. Thankfully the big bears are squaring up to this conundrum as Dads become mentors, porn idols and a backbone for Thatcher’s children.

For centuries we were judged and now we need to judge ourselves, it’s time to take personal responsibility laying down, for if we don’t release the many forms of gay shame from our antics and our compulsive behaviors the party will end before time and we will not deserve to feel a pang of GAY PRIDE. As I have said many times before, freedom comes from inside – not from a flag. No one is suggesting you halt bum stuff or chem fests but the weekend was a celebration of unity, history and PRIDE a glorious tribute to those same-sexers hung at Tyburn Gate, Marble Arch in the 16th century for the sin of sodomy and the glorious surrender.

In homage to these brave warriors, a review of your messy mishaps these past few daze, the gay family you now hold dear, the mates you shagged and slagged off (and are now your long term friends) are part of your own personal history, a knot for future gay generations to hang themselves with or a rope to bond together with Pride. Respect your body and those who invade it, respect your own personal history – it is as unique as DNA – and give yourself the GIFT OF HISTORY by checking out defects of character that defend, regular comedowns that increase in addictive cycles and lifestyles that stop you from living. Somewhere along the line you are still connected to the stocks, the public shame and secret desire. Feel it, claim it, dump it and get yourself off to the GMFA Arse Class if need be. Unleash the demon, be GAY ACTING for once.

More blogs and info pages on turning a corner, releasing shames and habits can be found at http://www.theswarmite.com